


golly more of that bullshit

by iwritecrapfanfic



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (supposed to be no promises), A fun time for the whole family, Fluff and Humor, Hospitals, Inspired by a video i saw on tumblr, Love Confessions, M/M, This is supposed to be funny, and neither do you, but he's fine though, harry's lung collapsed, i know nothing about pneumothorax, no one dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 11:04:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14235906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwritecrapfanfic/pseuds/iwritecrapfanfic
Summary: harry's lung collapses, louis panics and then fucks with him a little. and then they fall in wuv.





	golly more of that bullshit

**Author's Note:**

> have you seen that video of that guy in hospital and his lung collapses and his friend plays him songs about breathing and shit. yeah that. but like larry. despite the fact that is the year of our lord 2018, i'm out here writing larry fic at 1am. i would link the video but like i'm tired and v lazy.  
> (i wrote this in like 2 hours and like have only read through it once, pls be nice, or like don't idc)
> 
> title from kanye west- breathe in, breathe out because i'm funny (i know this is my first fic on this account so the more part doesn't fit but it's still a funny title okay and it was either this or some cheesy bullshit like 'you take my breath away' and like miss me with that gay shit)

“Can you actually fuck off?”

Jordan Sparks’ No Air fills the room as a nurse stands over Harry, adjusting the oxygen tank he’s been hooked up to.

“Whatever do you mean?” Louis says, eyes wide, feigning innocence, but he still turns the music off.

“I actually hate you,” Harry replies, his breathing deep and laboured.

“Mask back on,” the nurse says firmly, tapping on the plastic oxygen mask that rests below Harry’s chin.

Harry pouts at being chastised but still complies before giving Louis the finger and turning over onto his side to face away from him. 

“So I take the time out of my day to sit with my friend in a hospital because his lung just had to collapse and this is how he bloody repays me,” he says and then sighs dramatically, he’s joking, mostly, but he also wants Harry to take pity on him and give him some change to go buy a pack of monster munch at the WHsmiths in the reception. He’d share them with Harry of course, he’s not a complete arse.

“Oh I’m sorry, I’ll try to keep it to myself the next time,” He’s trying his hardest to sound offended but Louis can practically hear the smile in his voice.

Louis turns his nose up and says coldly, “See to it that you do.”

Louis can joke about it now but just a few short hours ago he was a wreck. 

Harry had had a cough all week and nobody had thought anything of it. Outside of the boys calling him a wuss whenever he complained about it, they'd scarcely mentioned it.

However earlier today, while they had all been enjoying a day lazing around in the sun, he said he had a weird pain in his chest and couldn’t catch his breath. This paired with the bluish tint his skin had taken on despite the late spring sun, had forced Louis into a panic. 

He’d had Niall and Zayn googling Harry’s symptoms, he instructed Liam to call 999, while he himself watched Harry to make sure he was okay. Harry had eventually had to be the one to calm Louis down because he’d worked himself into such a tizzy.

“Lou, everything is going to be fine, okay?” He’d said, rubbing his hand up and down Louis’ arm. “The ambulance is going to be here soon and take us to the hospital. I will be fine.”

Louis had hated it at the time. He hated how Harry had to comfort him, when he should have been the one freaking out. Looking back though, he can’t be angry. It’s just so typically Harry, taking the time to make Louis feel safe, even when he’s in pain.

When the ambulance had arrived and said that only one of them could go with him Louis had practically dove into the back of the van. None of the other boys had argued, while the five of them had been bestfriends since their first year at uni, they all knew that Harry and Louis were the closest.

They’d arrived at the Manchester Royal Infirmary’s heaving A&E three hours ago and were told that Harry’s lung had collapsed and would have to stay under observation for the rest of the day and would require extra oxygen.

And Louis being Louis, had obviously gotten bored just watching his friend breathe for three hours, so had taken to fucking with him. So far he’s played Kanye’s Breathe in, Breathe out, Anna Nalick’s Breathe and a plethora of other songs he’d found about breathing but he was starting to run out. At first it was just to entertain himself but the mildly annoyed but amused look on Harry’s face every time he played a song made Louis’ heart swell.

Once the nurse leaves, Louis starts to look for another song to play and finds the perfect one.

“Every breath you take, every move you make…”

Harry turns back to face Louis and looks up at him with his eyebrows raised in cool amusement as the giggle Louis had been trying to hold in breaks free.

“I was wondering how long it’d take you to think of this one,” Harry says pulling his mask to the side slightly.

“Put it back on, I don’t want that nurse coming back here and shouting at me for disturbing you while you’re supposed to be healing or whatever.”

“She is a bit mean isn’t she? I wish I still had that nurse that took my blood pressure earlier, she was nice.”

Of course he wants her back, she was tall, blonde and gorgeous. She’d winked at him while checking him over and acted as though Louis wasn’t in the room. He hated her of course and he’d like to say it wasn’t because of the way Harry had smiled at her, but he’d be lying. But Harry can’t know that of course.

“You should have gotten her number, she was you’re type. And you know she liked you,” When he’d fallen madly in love with Harry six months into knowing him, Louis decided that the best way to deal with it would be to try to set him up with as many people as possible. He doesn’t know why either.

“Oh yeah you could so tell she wanted me, nothing says sexy like a guy struggling to breathe,” Harry says, rolling his eyes. “And no before you say it, she doesn’t have a choking kink.”

Louis raises his arms in defeat, annoyed that Harry could guess what he was about to say. “Yeah but how could you possibly know that? Did you ask her? She might have a choking kink.”

“You are literally the only person on the planet with a choking kink,” Louis opens his mouth to speak but Harry cuts him off. “And I swear to god, if you are about to say ‘your mum begs to differ’, I will call my mother right now and have you repeat those words to her directly,” 

Louis slumps in his chair and huffs, “Okay we need to stop spending so much time together if you can predict how I’m going to wind you up, it’s not fun for me anymore.”

“Don’t lie, you love it that I know you better than anyone,” he says, raising his finger under Louis nose, teasing him. “Like how I know right now, you want nothing more than for me to give you my wallet so you can go buy a pack of Wotsits, because you left yours with Liam when you were freaking out that I was going to die.”

“Actually I want monster munch,” Louis says, a pout spreading across his face.

Harry rolls his eyes at Louis and reaches for his jacket to fetch his wallet out of the pocket and hands it to Louis. “Get me a twix while your there.”

Louis smiles, takes the wallet and runs out of the room and to the reception. Once he’s picked up what Harry asked for and his crisps, Louis looks around for something stupid and cheap to buy that would make Harry laugh before settling on a copy of Girl Talk magazine, because Louis thinks he’ll really appreciate the riveting article about Ariana Grande’s least favourite types of juice.

When he gets back to Harry’s room, he opens the door and sees that he’s not alone, blonde, pretty nurse is back and they’re laughing together about something and Louis hates the way his heart sinks when he sees the look on Harry’s face. Louis doesn’t even know her name but just seeing the two of them together he’s imagining the two of them settling down, moving to Wales, getting married by a lake and then having three kids and a cocker spaniel named Barnaby.

“Hey Lou, did you get my twix?” Harry’s attention switches completely to Louis once he notices that he’s back and Louis can’t help but preen under Harry’s gaze a little bit as the petty part of his brain wants to turn to blonde nurse and stick his tongue out at her.

“Actually mister, you aren’t allowed to eat anything just in case you have to have surgery,” the nurse says with a sympathetic smile.

“Oh, what a shame! Guess I’ll have to eat it,” Louis grins as he flops back into his chair beside Harry’s bed and rips into the chocolate wrapper. . “Oooo, which side shall I eat first, right or left?”

“I hate you,” Harry says with a pout as Louis bites into the chocolate.

Neither of them even notice the nurse leaving until they hear the door shut behind her.

“Did she say anything while I was gone?” Louis asks, licking chocolate off his fingers.

“No, she just came to check my heart rate and that. Took some blood samples as well,” Harry shows his forearm to Louis where there is now a plaster with little stars on it where she took the sample. “And no I did not ask her if she has a choking kink, I’m pretty sure that would count as sexual harassment.”

Louis sits up to look at Harry’s face. “That is why you don’t just ask her right off the bat if she has a choking kink, you bring it up casually in conversation and let her mention it.”

“You’re the fucking worst,” he says with a laugh. “And why are you trying to get me with this nurse? Believe it or not, I don’t really want to hook up with women who stab me in the arm.”

“Look Harold, I’m just trying to find someone out there who’s willing to love you, there aren’t many of them,” Louis reaches into his hoodie pocket, where he had rolled up the magazine and brings it out to show Harry. “So that is why I also bought you a copy of Girl Talk. I think using their top notch advice from the article How to know if your crush likes you will really help you out, and plus it came with a bottle of sparkly nail polish so I had to.”

Louis begins to read from the magazine, putting on voices, gesturing wildly and pausing occasionally to add his own comments, all the while Harry watches fondly as Louis rants ridiculously about the puzzle section of a children’s magazine until Louis notices and stops.

“Why are you staring at me like that with your creepy frog eyes? It’s very unsettling”

Harry doesn’t stop though, he just takes of his oxygen mask, revealing a small smile. “Thank you for staying with me today.”

“Hey, of course I did,” Louis say seriously and turns his chair so he’s facing Harry, looking up at him through his eyelashes. Before he can stop himself, he reaches out to touch Harry’s hand. “I wasn’t just going to let you sit bored stiff in a hospital all by yourself all day. And I know you’d do the same for me.”

Harry’s little smile stretches into a full grin a he looks at Louis and says softly, “Yeah, I would. Love you, Lou”

And all the sudden Louis wants to die, right then and there. That’s one thing that he’s always fucking hated about Harry. He’s always looking at Louis, with his stupid green eyes, smiling at him like he’s his whole world and saying shit like that. How is he not supposed to fall in love with that. It’s unfair really.

“Fuck off you sap,” Louis replies, laughing nervously, because he doesn’t trust himself to say the thing he really wants to say in that moment.

Louis thinks he can see a flash of sadness in Harry’s face for a moment but then he puts the oxygen mask back on his face and turns onto his back again. “All right then Lou, carry on with the magazine then, I need to know how to properly accessorise for summer.”

Louis launches back into his dramatic reading but when he’s done he notices that Harry looks tired so he puts it down and tells him to rest for a bit. Although he is concerned about Harry’s wellbeing and wants him to rest for as long as possible, Louis can’t help but scour the internet for the perfect song to play once Harry wakes up and once he finds it, he desperately wants to wake Harry up so he can play it but he doesn’t, he sits patiently for half an hour until Harry slowly opens his eyes then--

“Still alive but I’m barely breathing..”

Harry bursts out laughing but then he starts wheezing a little bit and Louis panics, afraid he’s responsible, but Harry sorts himself out a second later and puts a comforting hand on Louis’ shoulder to calm him down. 

Harry slowly sits up and takes the mask off his face, despite Louis’ alarmed hand flapping. “Lou, calm down. I’m fine, it’s just that, when your lung collapses sometimes you breathe a bit funny, okay? Not your fault.”

“I’m just worried about you, I may have scared myself a little on Webmd while you were asleep.”

“It’s cute that you’re worried,” he says, laying back onto his side.

“Oh like you didn’t absolutely have a complete melt-down when I got the flu second year,” Louis retorts, lifting his hand to push at Harry’s shoulder before thinking not to. “You drove me to the hospital at 1am in Liam’s car. You didn’t even have a license yet!”

“In my defence it was very scary, you weren’t taking any fluids and you wouldn’t open your eyes.”

“Because I was asleep! How much fluid do you take in while your asleep Harold?”

“You’re Louis, you should always be running around, fucking with people and causing mayhem,” Harry leans forward and reaches out to cup Louis cheek. “So when you ill and can’t even get out of bed it scares me. You should always be my Louis.” 

Harry is looking right into Louis’ eyes, rubbing his thumb across his cheekbone and smile softly and Louis can’t take it anymore.

“Okay buddy, you need to stop that shit,” Louis says jumping up out of his seat.

Harry looks up at him perplexed, laughing slightly in confusion.

“You can’t just be saying that kind of stuff to people and expect them not to have you know... Feelings about it,” he’s looking down sheepishly as he says it, tugging at the bottom of his hoodie.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you look at me like the fucking sun shines out my arse, say stupid shit like that and touch me like we’re a retired couple sat in our living room reminiscing about the fifty happy years of marriage we’ve fucking spent together and then expect me not to fucking fall in love with you? Bullshit!” Louis doesn’t know when he began to pace around the room, but he can’t bring himself to look at Harry anymore.

“You think we’d still be happy after fifty years of marriage,” Harry says. Louis doesn’t know what he was expecting Harry to say but it wasn’t that. “Lou, we can’t spend a day with each other without arguing about something or other.”

And in that moment Louis is finally free. He is no longer in love with Harry Styles, instead he is simply overwhelmed with the urge to violently murder him. And then, that moment passes and while he still wants to throttle Harry, he’ll feel incredibly fond as he does it.

“I don’t even know what to fucking say to that,” Louis says, flopping back into his chair in defeat. “I confess my love to you and that’s how you respond. No, rewind, do it again. I don’t care how you react, I just want you to fucking react.”

“I dunno what you want me to say Lou, you said it yourself. I look at you like the sun shines out your arse. I say ridiculous sappy shit to you all the time. And for some reason, despite the fact that you are literally the world’s biggest pain in the arse, the idea of fifty years of marriage with you isn’t the worst thing ever.”

“Oh wow ‘not the worst thing ever’. That’s what every boy dreams of hearing. I should call my mother and tell her that, she’ll start planning the wedding right away.”

Harry ignores Louis and presses on, “Come on Lou, I’ve never really been subtle about the way I feel about you. I’ve just been trying to deal with the fact that you never seemed interested.”

“I never said I wasn’t interested,” Louis says, his pride making it impossible to look Harry in the eye.

“You’ve tried to set me up with every woman I’ve had a conversation with for the past two and a half years,” Harry scoffs. “‘Scuse me if I didn’t pick up on those obviously brilliant flirting techniques.”

Louis stands up, opens his mouth to speak and turns to face Harry, but the moment he sees the wide eyed frustration on Harry’s face he can’t help but start laughing, and once he starts he can’t stop. Harry tries to remain composed as Louis laughs uncontrollably for apparently no reason but it’s infectious and soon he’s doing it too.

The two of them eventually calm down and really look at each other, grins split across their faces.

“What are we doing?” Harry says, resting his head back on the pillow.

“Arguing. It’s what we do best.”

“I don’t want to argue,” Harry sits up, swings his legs off the bed and grabs Louis by the wrist pulling him closer. 

“What do you want?” Louis whisper, their faces just a few inches apart.

Unfortunately because Harry is the worst, Louis does not get the incredibly clichéd answer of 'you' that he wanted, but instead Harry simply leans in and captures Louis lips with his own. And again, because Harry is the worst, their first kiss isn’t the epic 10 minute snog that Louis had dreamed of because Harry had to pull away after 5 seconds because he couldn’t breathe. Selfish arsehole.

“How about that Louis Tomlinson? You literally take my breath away.” Harry says, resting his forehead against Louis’

“Okay fuck you, this is over now, you had your one chance and ruined it with the worst joke of all fucking time.”

Harry smiles, or at least Louis thinks he’s smiling underneath the oxygen mask. It’s hard to tell really. But the look in his eyes says it all.

**Author's Note:**

> urr if you like this please comment. if you don't like it please also comment, it doesn't even have to be constructive criticism, i get off on just random hate. i crave attention of any kind pls. 
> 
> i'm also writing like 50000 other fics (2), they are nothing like this at all, but if you like this you can encourage me in the comments and maybe i'll write faster, or maybe not, give it a shot anyway. 
> 
> people often link to their tumblrs here but like no one needs to see the blog where i shout about how pretty i think harry styles is, do they?


End file.
